Tuesday, July 2, 2013

And they say: "BUT YOU LOOK SO GOOD!!!"

And they say....

You know that awkward moment when you take out an entire display at a store, or fall on an escalator at the mall, and the moment has arrived when we feel we not only need to apologize, but explain to that person.. I have Multiple Sclerosis. We start to cringe on the inside because you know your ears are about to be assaulted with those dreaded words......

BUT YOU LOOK SO GOOD!!! REALLY?? I just took out a display of basketballs, and I look good? Is this a common occurrence? I see stuff like that happen myself or I actually am the one who took it out and I think to. Was that not an indicator that not all is right in " Denmark ." ?

Those few words erupt like a volcano inside of us. I personally have thought to myself.. If one more person tells me how good I look I will hit them upside of their head and get to ask.. Think much?

I think there are a number of reasons why this is an automatic response when you tell them. Got to give them kudos for being ignorant.  * Clap, * Clap!

Explanation of ignorance. Off topic.. But not really..

( The usual second response that I get is. " You don't wear a brace?" Umm.. " Your back doesn't look curved. " News flash I do not have scoliosis.. My favorite one, hands down is. " You don't look like one of Jerry's kids. " HUH??? Wrong again DOLT! Wrong disease. Ding ding! )

I feel that people who say these nasty words don't do it to be hurtful. They just don't know what to say. We can't fault them for that as we have done the same when it come to a conversations of diseases. And let's face it.. Even we have had to pick our jaws up from the floor. We couldn't imagine going through what they have and been going through.

Multiple Sclerosis shows its disabilities in different ways. Some have a more outward form of MS, like myself I am one that shows very little on the outside but struggle with what is going on inside.

That was the old me.

I guess I stopped caring about what people thought or said. I pity the poor person who says this to me on a bad day because that person is going to have to park and try and keep up with me. I know their brains are playing ping pong with itself after that! You said those pesky little words and now you get to hear it all.

Then you have the " rarity " DENSE PERSON " who says it just so they don't have to talk to you about it. These people get a very special clap. Not worth the time. Move on.

We can't continue living with the expectation that the people we tell are going to say the right thing. Through experience I have learned by asking them if they know what it is. Most people have someone either in their family who has it or a friend. It's amazing when we find the voice to stand up and say " I may look good but I feel like crap. " People listen, if we don't get offended by these little pesky words. People are even grateful for the tips.

I've been able to pass my knowledge on and help non MS'ers to understand a very complicated disease. When we do this we are giving them power and knowledge so they don't go to the " hit upset the head pile."